Do you have a mentor you are thankful for? Are you a mentor yourself?
This past weekend, a college-age friend of mine, one I’ve known since she was 7 years old, invited me to a Sundance Film Festival screening of Miss Representation, a documentary about the media’s portrayal of women and its impact on young girls. It was sad, discouraging, but also motivating. And, seeing it with my friend gave me reason to reflect on the amazing young woman she’s become.
I have been lucky to have a number of personal and professional mentors in my life, as well as other individuals whose kind words, acts, and feedback have helped me navigate my way in life. I appreciate what they’ve done for me and admire them immensely, even if they don’t know it. I plan to make sure they do.
Hopefully, I’ve also been able to be a good friend and example, though I know I’ve had good days and bad, powerful days and vulnerable ones. Haven’t we all?
While the documentary started this train of thought, this post is not about it, nor is it about the media. Rather, it is a tribute to my friend and the mentors I, myself, have had in life.
It is also a call to action; and I hope you will join me by becoming a rock [read: someone who is strong and stable and dependable] for someone in your community.
I can think of no better way to help young girls and boys grow up to be
-
of strong character,
-
confident,
-
compassionate, and
-
self-loving, as well as have the opportunity to feel
-
listened to,
-
supported, and
-
respected in ways that allow them to ignore the barrage of crap that tells them they need to be something other than who they are in order to deserve it.
Sometimes being their rock is as simple as hearing what they have to say. But we can also support kids, young adults, and even those who are still finding their way in life – whatever their age – as a confidante, adviser, teacher, coach, friend, and/or mentor. And, of course, as a parent. But today, I’m talking about kids you have no obligation to except good will.
I hope that if you are reading this, the idea of being a mentor is ringing true to you.
Sure, not everyone is geared towards being a mentor, and, yes, it can be scary – especially for people like me who have no children of my own – to think we need to be just so or have all the answers in order to help someone else. The reality is that we are at our best when we are being ourselves. And, being a mentor does not have to be a formal, formulaic sort of thing – it can be whatever you and your mentee need and want it to be.
If you still need convincing, here are 5 more good reasons to consider becoming a mentor:
1. Young people benefit from having positive adult, non-parental role models in their lives; the more, the better. To find a young person who could use your help, consider contacting Big Brothers Big Sisters or Boys and Girls Club of America, a local school, your church, a youth sports league, or other community organization. Me, I filled out my application to become a Big today.
2. Without real people as role models, young people are left to the often-misleading images portrayed on TV, in music, and in other popular media. A recent study found that kids between the ages of 8 and 18 consume nearly 7.5 hours of media in all forms each day; the good thing is that some of it can be really worthwhile. Through one mentoring program, called icouldbe.org, for example, you can use the internet to mentor a child from a school in need. Their research has found that the online mentoring relationship is as effective as a face-to-face one.
3. You are unique and have something to share with the world. And a young person, who is learning and making decisions about their life path, could benefit from your story and experience. Even if you think you don’t know enough, aren’t ready, or don’t have what it takes to be a mentor, you are very likely passionate about, good at, and knowledgeable about something that could benefit someone else – consider sharing what you know.
4. Learning goes both ways and keeps going. To paraphrase Mark Bittman’s parting words from his NYTimes column this week, you’re never in a mentoring relationship “…with someone else without learning something. In every case, there’s a two-way transfer of knowledge. If they know less than you do, you grow from teaching. If more, of course, you grow from learning.” I am constantly amazed at how much my young friend has accomplished, how much she has taught and pushed me, and how proud I am of her. Today, she helps so many others.
5. There’s no need to start from scratch. There are plenty of resources designed to help you learn how to be a phenomenal mentor. Mentor.org and Who Mentored You? can not only help you learn whether mentoring is right for you and how to get started, but also give you ideas for how to build trust, come up with activities, and help kids work through issues you may have questions about yourself.
I’d love to hear about the people you’ve relied on, your experience being a mentor – or whether you decide to become one.
.
About Stormy Sweitzer - Maoomba-in-chief